Sunday, October 14, 2007
My Weekend...
Well, my weekend started with a call from my friend Bethany that I met on my first days in Africa. She invited me to a potluck that a large group of Americans have every Friday night. There is a college here called the African Bible College (ABC) where many Americans work as missionaries. So, I went excited to have a little taste of home. It was really fun, I met a lot of really nice people, but it was what happened to me later that wasn't so good. I figured all Americans, food would be safe right? WRONG! I became really ill, to the extent you probably don't care to know. But I have spent all weekend recovering and I am feeling better now. I think when you get sick, no matter where you are, you just want to be close to home with Mom taking care of you. It has been a hard weekend for me in more ways than one. I have felt really homesick. This internal battle plays in my head that God has brought me here for a purpose, but sometimes it is hard to see why. It is almost embarrassing to write this because it is hard to admit that this is difficult, and the picture of why I am here some days is not clear. Sometimes I think it is just too difficult. What am I trying to do, save the world? But just as God has not completely revealed to me all the reasons that I am here, it is a test for me to surrender to His will, let go and trust. Something that I battle with often. As I was sitting in church this morning thinking about the people around me, they don't seem to have the same struggles we as Americans face. Life is simpler. Purer. Not clouded by superficial wants and desires. Their wants are for others, happiness, and health. They hold a grasp on what is really important. Sometimes these perspectives come in strange ways, but the last time for me was when my sister Rose died. I don't know, I guess in some ways I am answering my own questions. There is not one reason that I am here, there are many. I, myself have a lot to learn from the people here, but at the same time I hope and pray that I can leave a little something behind too.
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2 comments:
Hi Bree - I am your mom's cousin Susan in Florida. I want you to know that your experiences there will not only better the lives of those people in Africa, but will also better the lives of all those who know you. Sometimes the Lord sends us through some extremely hard experiences, such as the loss of Rose, so that we may grow to understand what is really important. Such will be your experience there. God Bless You!
Sweet Briana,
If we are lucky, we all will at some time question our purpose here on earth. The following story seems appropriate to your situation:
The Legend of the Starfish
A vacationing businessman was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy.
Along the shore were many starfish that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned.
The boy walked slowly along the shore and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfish back into the ocean.
The businessman, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son.
You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfish are dying on every beach every day. Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time.
Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?"
The boy looked up at the man, and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish, and as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said, "It makes a difference to that one”.
Most of us will never find a cure for cancer, or orchestrate world peace, but we can make a difference within our own small sphere of influence. You are making a difference to God's children, one at a time. I am proud to say I know you. You and your charges will be part of my daily prayers from now on. Thank you for your faithful service.
Love,
Cathy Marler
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